If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
