i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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