someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Randomize
