And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
