I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
