No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
