dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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