Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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