I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
