why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
