So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
