two words: eviction party
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
