there was a trapeze. enough said
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
