i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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