3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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