Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
