well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
