I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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