i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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