We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
