Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
