No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
