shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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