I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Terrible idea I love it
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
