So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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