Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
