we have officially mastered the walk of shame
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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