i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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