I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
