so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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