i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
