have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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