I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
