I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize