Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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