? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
