Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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