i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
