My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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