I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
is it fun? or sober?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
