Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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