No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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