Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
