I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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