AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
