My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
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