I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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