I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
