you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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