.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
