just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
