I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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