and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
