i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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