what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize