You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
