Slut skills are useful in every country.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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