You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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