Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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