My sheets look like a crime scene.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She's the barista slut.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
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