I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
