My pussy is not your playground.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
