She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
where are you?
Hypothermia
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
