all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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