coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
