i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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